Take the quiz online or scroll down to do it the “classic” way with pen and paper
1. How do you view books?
A. As Thomas Carlyle so eloquently puts it, “In books lies the soul of the whole past time.”
B. Data streamed straight to whichever device I choose
C. Something entertaining to chat about with my friends
D. A cheap and easy way to pass the time
E. From as far away as possible
2. What’s your favourite way to find new books to read?
A. Recommendations from the staff in Foyles of London or my local independent book shop, or reviews in the Times Literary Supplement
B. Bestselling downloads for Amazon Kindle or Audio books on iTunes – one click purchase baby!
C. Recommendations from my friends or at my book club
D. Browsing at the charity shop or the library, or visiting remaining friends who haven’t started electronically tagging their books
E. Er … does it count if I nick one off my mum to prop my door open?
3. How do you think the author should be seen?
A. A uniquely intelligent, creative, tortured genius who makes this earth a better place
B. Free spirit, content creator, entrepreneur
C. Talented amazing people full of ideas, I don’t know how they do it
D. Authors don’t need to be seen, they should just keep writing
E. Get a life
4. Where is your favourite place to read?
A. In my favourite chair in my favourite book den at home
B. With data streamed to whichever device I choose, I read wherever I am. PS, you do know what data-streaming is, don’t you?
C. In bed at the end of the day with hot chocolate and marshmallows
D. In the Waitrose café – it’s warm and cosy, and my loyalty card gets me free coffee
E. In the foyer at the cinema – it means there’s real entertainment coming up
5. What literary character do you identify with?
A. Mr Brownlow in Oliver, so generous-hearted, and a bibliophile like myself
B. Ford Prefect
C. Bridget Jones
D. Miss Marple
E. Homer Simpson
6. Why do you like reading?
A. To learn, enrich my enervate imagination and appreciate higher culture
B. To keep up to date with new ideas
C. It’s fun reading new books and chatting about them with my friends
D. What else is there to do once I’ve fed the cat?
E. Reading’s a way better festival than Glastonbury. Can I go now?
7. You’ve just finished reading an amazing book – how do you let people know how good it was?
A. That is the literary reviewer’s job. For me, the joy lies simply in the absorption of the words
B. Tweet to my 5000 followers and give it five star reviews on Amazon
C. I share it with friends on Facebook, discuss it at my book club, and rate it on Goodreads
D. I mention it to the librarian or the lady in the charity shop when I take it back.
E. Yeah, right, like any of this scenario is likely. I’d be in shock if I managed to make it to the end of a book and I was still awake.
8. What happens to the amazing book now?
A. I insert it in a custom-made dust jacket so it can be treasured forever in my library
B. Strip out the DRM and lend it out to whoever wants it
C. Pass it round my friends and family then add it to the box waiting for me to get yet another new bookshelf
D. I take it back to the library, or if it’s good as new, I gift-wrap it as a Christmas present for a friend (making sure not to give it to the person I borrowed it from. Lessons have been learned!)
E. Sometimes I trip over it
9. What is your favourite kind of book?
A. Expensive classic tales by deceased or venerable authors bound in leather. Note to quiz editor: Please correct the ambiguity in this sentence
B. Speculative sci-fi-technolit
C. A good entertaining read about real life and real people
D. One which says £12.99 on the cover, but which I picked up for 60p
E. Something short. Unless I’m using it to prop the door open, in which case, the heavier the better
10. Have you ever downloaded an eBook?
A. Download? DOWNload?
B. What do you think? I picked up three new books at the same time as doing this quiz.
C. Often, especially when I’m going on holiday
D. Not yet, but I might try a free one if I ever find a used reading device in the charity shop
E. Once, by accident. Turns out Gibbons Decline and Fall isn’t a monkey-themed computer game.
You are a Classic Reader
You love knowledge and culture, and treasure every book in your select collection. You can often be found sniffing the books in your independent bookshop and wondering whither the literary world.
Authors love you for the way you appreciate books and stand up for libraries and independent bookshops. Why not try eBooks too? What’s the worst that could happen, apart from dropping your Kindle in the bath and getting electrocuted?
Most likely to be reading: Tolstoy, in a Folio Society edition
Least likely to say: “Omg, Dan Brown is totally amazing!”
You are a Tech Reader
You’re excited about new things and always looking out for the latest innovation in online media. You can often be found in coffee shops reading an e-book while simultaneously browsing on Amazon and listening to the most painfully current band.
Authors love you because you champion new and unusual writing and ways of reading. Did you know you can now get novels in a 3-D format, called “paperback”?
Most likely to be reading: Philip K Dick
Least likely to say: “That Jane Austen is tragically under-rated”
You are a Bookclub Reader
You love the social side of reading, and you’re always ready to try the big book of the year, even if it’s not your favourite genre. When you’re not at your book club, you’re sharing your views of books over coffee with friends or online.
Authors love you because you’re so positive about books, and very good at sharing reviews and giving feedback. If you haven’t got an e-reader yet, try one for your holiday reading. Low-cost airlines only charge extra for an e-reader if you have more than fifty novels on it – Fact.
Most likely to be reading: the latest Richard and Judy or Oprah recommendation
Least likely to say: “I can never find a thing to read”
You are a Thrifty Reader
You love reading, as long as it doesn’t cost you anything. When not at home mending your dog-eared paperbacks with sticky-backed plastic, you’re waiting for the library to open, or fighting off all-comers at the charity shop’s bargain bin.
Authors love you because you read unfashionable writers and keep books from other eras in circulation. PS, have you seen my copy of Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein? It went missing in 1976.
Most likely to be reading: Colleen McCullough The Thorn Birds (RSPCA 50p)
Least likely to say: “Rush me the full-price hard-back copy of Russell Brand’s autobiography.”
You are a Reluctant Reader
You don’t like books, though you clearly read more than you think you do … you’re still here, after all! For you, reading is what weird people did before the internet was invented, and you’re most likely to be found at the cinema, in a bar, watching sport, or anywhere actually, you know, interesting.
Authors love you because you challenge them to create content that is brilliant enough to grab your attention.
Unlikely to be reading
Least likely to say: “The suspense over who’s made the Booker long-list is killing me”